Chick talks “Birds and Bees” A Cautionary Tale

It’s spring…kind of…and I’m thinking of the birds and the bees. We already have the birds, specifically the chickens, but we have no bees. We have fresh “free”eggs and wouldn’t it would be great to have fresh honey, too?

My husband hates bees. Hates…them! Every year the conversation between us goes like this:

“I’d like to get some bees.”

“If you got bees, who says they won’t just go next door? They sting. Why do I want anything that instinctively wants to harm me? For what?”

He had a point. (Pun intended.) So, I decided to table that discussion for next year…since currently we’re nursing our rooster back to health. (Soooo, we’re back to “just” having the birds!)

Thurston, the rooster is on my enclosed porch as he’s healing from a hawk attack. He was just doing his job to protect his ladies and BAM! He was scooped up and fought his way out of the talons of a bully chicken hawk. He’s now wearing a (custom made by moi) cone of shame to deter him from pecking himself to death.

So yesterday I went back to my second home, aka the feed store, to get medicine and food. (Just a reminder to those thinking of getting chickens for “free eggs”…there’s no such thing as “free”!) Since I knew what I needed I went directly to the order counter and paid for the goods.

“You qualify to receive 6 free baby chicks!”

“No…no…no. Oh, their so cute! I already have the heat lamp. My husband will give up his shower for another month, again. I’d just need a bag of crumbles….”

I slapped my own face and said…”NO!”
The sales lady said she understood and quickly walked away. (She basically dropped the chicks and ran!)

“I mean, I have enough to take care of right now!” (Did I just say that out loud?)

Feverishly I grabbed my supplies and exited the store. Surely someone else has had that same reaction…surely. Embarrassed, I scrambled out of that parking lot and insult to injury, my tires may have spun some gravel. (No one was harmed….that I knew.)

There’s so much to know when having chickens. Mine happen to be pets so I don’t cull them when they’re ill. I treat them. In fact, my husband almost died when he heard I’d taken Thurston to the vet…in my car. (I left the sun roof open. Gosh!)

I can’t believe I was able to walk away from then but sometimes you have to know your limits. I mean, they weren’t the kind of chickens I really liked so that helped! The saleswoman who knew me hollered as I was leaving the building.

“Next week we’re getting Buff Orpington’s!”

“Really?! I love these birds! Maybe next week.”

Did I really just say that? I was so proud I didn’t get the chicks and expressed my pleasure to the hubs in being able to walk out without a half dozen chicks. He was relieved, too. Then I told him about next week’s arrival of Buff Orpington’s and shockingly…he spoke…

“We’ll, since you’re not doing the bee hive…”.

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11 comments

  1. Summer I always get the most enjoyment as well as entertainment from your posts. I am proud you were able to restrain yourself from the free chicks! However with next week’s selection I am not holding my breath!

  2. This is hilarious. First, I have trouble resisting anything free…though, as you said, with the costs of care, what’s “free” isn’t really free?!! Second, I don’t know if I could have resisted the baby chicks. Great self-control on your part. And I hope you get your bees one of these days–surely they’d provide some more comedy for you to add to this. 😉

    1. I didn’t get the free ones! That being said, I DID buy 2 at a local chicken swap! LOL! I’m a sucker for a baby!!
      Thanks for reading and enjoying Michelle!
      More to come for sure!

  3. You write and it makes me feel like we are chatting over a pot of tea. Who knew chickens could be both embarrassing and hysterical? How do I subscribe?

    1. Janie, Thank you for such a lovely comment! I know others have subscribed. I’m not sure how! Lol!
      If you happen to be in Twitter, I always post when I write something new there. I need to play “catch-up” as I haven’t written in a while and Thurston has passed away…so sad. I have a new rooster & much more to tell!
      You’re very sweet!

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